ey mami
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girls.

*shy but actually a sex freak*

(Source: e-n-o, via rathuman)

  • Me before entering a relationship: who do you consider your most powerful rivals

timothydrakes:

Why Did I Do That?: A novel by me, with special guest appearances by several alcoholic beverages

(Source: homovikings, via dixiethetinydog)

janefoster:

basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”

(via moriarty)

princesswitchy:

My whole family assumes I’m straight and it’s like if I say anything like “wow that girl is so pretty” they’re like “you’re pretty too don’t compare yourself’ like no mom the only thing I’m comparing is the width between her legs and how well I could fit.

(via moriartysmysticalvanofdoom)